I went running today! ^_^ Well, kind of.
See, I have a confession of sorts. I got sick about a week and a half ago and things kind of... went downhill. I didn't get my papers done, I didn't go to the classes I didn't have to, didn't sleep much and so didn't get better, didn't go outside, didn't exercise, didn't really do anything. I made it through the last week of classes, if only barely. Now classes are over and my faculty advisor is gone. I'm on my own. I don't have anything scheduled for-- longer than it's ever been. I have a lot I still have to do, don't mistake that. I'm not free. But I'm free to set my own schedule for the first time ever.
The first three days haven't gone quite as I'd imagined. I really wanted to prove to myself and my dad that left to my own devices I would set up a decent schedule and take care of myself and everything. That's not really what's happened. And I suppose I should've known it would take time but I've never been good at being patient, especially when it comes to myself.
I have these bad habits I fall into when I'm being a student. Things like staying up too late procrastinating or eating in front of my computer. It leaves me tired and almost never at my best. It also means that I have constant weight problems. All of which totals to an unhappy and unhealthy me.
I have the chance to change that now. In the three days since I was set free, only small changes have actually been affected. I don't eat at my desk in my room anymore. I may still bring my computer along so I can watch an episode of a TV show, but I'm not hunched over my desk in a corner of my room anymore. I have slept a lot more and am not constantly tired. Though that one's kind of a toss up as to whether that's an improvement, seeing as the sleeping is being done during the day rather than at night because I stay up later and later until it's early again. And then today, I finally did some exercise. It was only kind of a wimpy short run/walk, but it was so nice to get outside and to use some muscles. I'm proud of myself for doing it at all because running is one of my least favorite forms of exercise (tells you how desperate I was) and because I really needed to do something.
I'm trying really hard not to make any grand plans or anything exercise-wise now. Just because I went running once, doesn't mean that I'll want to do it again. And if I start telling myself that I will run every day and I'll get in shape, etc., and then don't manage to do it, it's crushing. It's another excuse to be angry at myself and get discouraged. What I should do is try to walk or investigate going swimming since I've been wanting to do that for ages. And to keep chipping away at all the other things I want to improve. And then hopefully, I will be happier and healthier for it.
